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Showing posts with label Journal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Journal. Show all posts

Saturday, May 4, 2019

A Beautiful Disaster

Universal Studio Singapore
It was a roller coaster ride. A vacation leave turned into indefinite soul search. A beautiful disaster, sabi ng kaibigan ko isa na naman maling desisyong ginawa ko. Nag quit ako sa first job ko, it was immediate because i can no longer do rendering due to the fact na nasa ibang bansa ako that time. Wala akong masabing masama sa dati ko kumpanya, they offered me the best training platforms from global communication to product specific. As a former human resource student, malaking cost yun para sa company but i'm seeing what they are rooting at, they are aiming not to be the biggest but the best service provider sa Industry and I'm grateful that they allowed me to be part of their story and they are part of my journey.

Going back, I went to Singapore and stayed their for roughly a month, I looked for a job and step out sa comfort zone ko. Fortunate ako kasi may host family na nag offer sa aking ng accommodation in minimal cost, almost food and transportation lang ang nagastos ko for staying in a high end and expensive country like Singapore. Di lang ako swinerte sa paghahanap ng trabaho due to quota na pinapatupad ng Ministry of Manpower. Promising yung opportunities at salary, kung doon ka nagtratrabaho, yung perks ng security, convenience, transportation at inter cultural experience, isang malaking factor. Masyadong maiksi ang 30 days para masabi kong ganun kaganda at kaayos ang Singapore pero enough na for me to find myself. 

Botanical Garden
Sabi ko i lost myself habang tumutulong at nag bibigay ng feedback sa ibang tao. Hindi ko masabi sa supervisor ko noon na, ang hirap magcorrect sa ibang tao kung ikaw nakikita mo ang sarili mo na nalilito at karamihan ng nasa paligid mo sinasabing nakakalito ka. Nawala bigla lahat ng hilig ko, nawala yung hilig ko sa painting at sa pagsusulat, nawala yung natural kong tawa at saya, na pressure ako sa kung ano gusto ng magulang ko para sa akin, kung ano ang tama sa kung ano ang masaya.

At the age of 24, feeling ko kailangan ko mag catch up, na pressure ako mula sa kung ano tingin ng school to how they see me at home, and i saw myself drowning na from that growth mindset sa corporate ladder. I tried to contain everything but nahirapan nalang akong huminga, minsan nakikita ko nalang sarili ko umiiyak ng walang dahilan. Pakiramdam ko malaki utang na loob ko sa mundo, frinustrate ko ang sarili ko sa mga bagay na wala akong control like promotion, salary, work life balance, everything. Bumili ako ng mga financial literacy books, nakinig ng podcast, nag aadvise sa ibang tao about what is ok and what is not but hindi ko naitanong sa sarili ko, are you ok?

It was a roller coaster ride, with just one snap, sinabi ko na di na ako babalik sa company. Feeling ko nakapag desisyon ako, feeling ko may makwekwento ako sa ibang tao about one in a life time decision. Siguro masasabi nila na it doesn't make sense but for me, not everything does, not everything has to. 

I realized sa paglalakad at pagagala ko sa Singapore, Singaporeans are very humble which what separate me from them is that arrogance and fear still keep me from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all, It's not about me. I know na napaka fast phase ng working environment nila but kung makikita mo yung sa East part ng Singapore, and even sa small alley nila. Old people are still working maybe because of the high end living but you can still live for roughly $5 to $10 a day which make sense for me that they are working not for their selves but you can see how happy they are serving other people, serving other nationals. I went back home, baon ang pahinga at aral, na kahit saan ka pumunta at dalhin ng paa mo, may mga bagay na tayo lang ang sasagot sa mga bagay na tayo lang ang nagtatanong and prumoproblema. Handa na akong harapin ang susunod na phase ng buhay ko at magsimula uli. 

Changi Airport - Terminal 4
Published: Comment

Monday, April 24, 2017

Adult Life Starts this Year


It's been a while, i never thought that i would stop by in this page again. Sorry, I just wander around and look for more spaces to look after. After all the experiences i have right now, i think i'm turning into an adult, more light years to come. Writing and sharing thoughts are very interesting - reading back all the things i had before and the journey i got, nothing can pay it off, a very worthy adventure.

I'm in the middle of deciding, if i'll continue being a Call Center Agent or not. I have nothing against them like what my very last post, they are really great. The pressure, stress, changes and even with all the will issues that we have. I have to say they are Agents of Shield. We woke up late, changing the body clock, we even turn breakfast into dinner and lunch into breakfast. Endure all the shouts, curse, pains and personal issues that we pretend that we are okay. I'm in the middle of deciding, is this industry deserves a soft heart creature like me. The industry is very strong, with great foundation and diverse pool of individuals with superhuman confidence.

I'm fortunate i started with Eperformax, they let me realize that graduation is just an introduction and not yet the whole story. Day after day before, i really enjoy having conversation with customers, the wiggle and wobble you create with each talk you have with them, not just about the metrics, not just about the stats, it sounds irony because i sound flat and bored with the recordings but you'll gonna see me smiling and that's what i really love but now i'm doubting myself to have it again. I'm guilty and shamed of saying i'm tired, most of my college friends already moving and making their own family portrait, most of my training batch mates already made their own stories and here i am don't know what to do, i'm just 22 and already asking too many questions.

Maybe you are gonna say "Weak", "Noob" or "What the heck are you saying, you just got your 6th month" I don' know if this is normal for those student jump in immediately the corporate world after graduation. Maybe you are gonna say "You just need a break", "You just need some talk" maybe yes but i don't know if i'll just go with the flow but i'm not a dead fish. I'm not even a beautiful fish that companies gonna look after or even a shark that they are gonna be scared of, at some point i'm just wondering if this is just part of a much better story [Not about Finding Aeron hahaha] I'm not a quitter, i'll be fighting until the end but the question is, is their will be an ending for a clown fish like me? See you around ka-iskolar.
Published: Comment

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

A Mid-lane Journey


I had this encounter with a customer, asking me why did i choose the industry where i am right now. BPO Industry is a very tough industry, employees are struggling though out the process from training to production. I'm fortunate to have a very long process yet a very good transition from academe to actual work place. I encountered several attempts to give up and to choose a different path but instead i strive to know more about how it works, now i thoroughly understand how heavy a call center agent's job.

Sometimes i feel so guilty that i can't assist certain customer, I feel sorry for  myself for not going beyond extra miles or tried to call customers that got disconnected/hung up due to high volume of calls. When i was in learning lab, i can sense the emotion of my customers but my supports back then taught me not to take it personally then i shifted to transaction mentality (trabaho lang walang personalan) I thought it was a good start. i removed that emotional connection i do have with my customers, my average handling time is very good but it turned out not satisfying my customers i wasn't able to identify the needs behind their needs, I'm the one in a hurry not the customer. Gradually i become more insensitive with my customers, i think about myself alone, i think that if i do this fast i can assist more customer, i can give more assistance but at the end of the day i just lose millions of opportunity to give an assistance to other people.

Sometimes we are asking for sana day off na lang uli, tinatamad, napapagod, mabilis mabugnot ang ulo. We are just mere humans, we have peak of performance and the best days of ourselves but be honest we also have days that we want to end up immediately. The enthusiasm that i have before when i was in training is kinda blurry right now, i lose the sight of knowing and understanding how can i give further assistance. Before when i was in college, i was asking why most of the people i know doesn't want to work in call center industry, because of the language? Work schedule? Difficulties of work? I Don't know. They come up to Call Center agent lang, every time i said i'm an agent. It doesn't sound right and disheartening scenario but i always took it positively. While typing this article,i thought that this industry provides a lot of growth opportunity, facets like personality enhancement to professionalism. I saw my stats, i'm not a performer like most of the people i know at the floor but i know what are the things that i need to fill out.

Now i'm in my third month as a regular employee, i'm happy with my team they are very positive and always strive to give an assistance, Yes we might not be the best but we are more than the best people at the floor that know how to be happy in the middle of the journey. I'm a newbie, i accepted it and embraced the fact that i need to learn more, a lot of questions and bugging attempts that entice me to give up but in the end of the day we asked questions because we want answers and we are the actual person that knows how to figure it out. Ikaw ka iskolar, ano ang positive mantra mo? Kindly share it below Muchas Gracias!
Published: Comment

Wednesday, October 12, 2016

Blending in and Moving Forward


I'm sorry if i wasn't able to write for about a month because i focus a lot with my job and to be honest i need a break to breath in, as of the moment i don't know if this is what i really wanted. To be honest, speaking with customers are very entertaining and interesting, but to be scolded because you missed some words, you missed some spiel is kinda off i thought it's gonna be a good environment but i was wrong. Coach is right i assume a lot of things, i thought i'm in a good track but right now all things are dragging me where i was - a newbie. 

I hold on to my mantra, learning is a process but i'm in a business world right now, not school, not training anymore. They don't need slowpoke like me lurking around with my tone. Yeah i'm efficient in terms of handling my calls but i'm focus on the quality to serve with our customers and i don't know where to place myself because they are looking for customer representative who can do both efficient and quality. I believed that this things will fall into places, but right now every words i heard is ripping me off. 

When i started to join the Company, i was alone - i was able to meet a lot of people, made friends, create more circles but at the end of the day, I'm alone. I have to let them go not because they do have their own stories but because i have my own story to write. From 19 trainees in Global Communication Training then mixed with several people in Enhance Training and were able to make peers of 22 trainees at Product specific training, now we are down to 5 trainees. 

Like what my Performance Analyst said "this is survival of the fittest and the reason why you are here because you perform well, don't be complacent and don't stop learning." As i go further, i forgot to settle myself and i thought i was ok but i learned i have to learn to blend in while walking, doing things and moving forward no matter what. Sorry about my post, i just i have to let go all of the things inside me so i can be productive. Thank you Ka-Iskolar, Muchas Gracias!
Published: Comment

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

Five Years from Now


Dear Aeron,

Kamusta ka na? Makalipas ng limang taon eto ang unang liham na nagawa ko para saiyo. Alam ko marami ng pagbabagong naganap sa buhay mo sa loob ng iilang taon. Nagsimula tayo sa paghahanap ng trabaho bago ang Graduation Day sandamak mak na "Sige tatawagan nalang namin ang number mo for further interview" maraming lakad ang pinagsamahan natin sa katirikan ng araw at maraming kalam ng tyan ang ating pinagsaluhan para lang makapunta sa interview. 

 Ngayon kamusta ka na? Narinig ko isa ka sa pinaka batang manager ng kumpanya nyo. Mula sa simpleng agent hanggang sa maging team leader at ngayon isa ka na sa manager. Pagbutihan mo pa kasi alam ko kung gaano mo kagusto maging bahagi ng kumpanya na yan nung nagsisimula pa lang tayo sa training. Napagsasabay mo ang pagbloblog at ang trabaho, alam ko kung gaano ka dedicated para sa brand natin na I-skolar sana lang di lumaki ulo mo sa mga papuring natatanggap mo, tandaan mo na bahagi ito ng kwento ng hirap, tyaga at determinasyon. Alam natin na di tayo ang pinakamagaling pero pilit natin pinagbubuti at inaaral ang bawat mali at tamang ating nagagawa. 

 Sana tinupad mo yung pangakong bibilhan mo si tatay ng motor, na papaayos mo ang bahay natin at bilhan mo ng playstation ang dalawa nating kapatid. Sana rin naaayos mo ang mga bayarin at maayos mong nahahandle ang budget, sa hirap ng buhay mabuti nang maganda ang pagkakahawak mo. Nasimulan mo na ba yung gusto mong trucking business kay tatay? eh yung kapital na hinihingi ni mama naibigay mo na ba? Nasimulan mo na ba yung Computer Shop nyong magkakapatid? eh sinagot ka na ba nya o sinubukan mong kontakin uli sya, huli nyong paguusap nasa bulacan na sya. Isinulat ko to sa tagalog kasi alam ko, nangangapa ka na sa pananagalog sa kakaingles mo dyan sa kumpanya nyo, di naman masama na mahalin mo ang wikang banyaga pero sana wag mong kalimutan kung saan ka nagsimula. 

 Sa loob ng limang taon marami ng naganap, nakapunta ka na kung saan saan sa loob at labas ng bansa, alam ko kung gaano inenjoy ang buhay single mo pero di tayo bumabata, kailangan natin ng pamilya, kailangan natin ng kakalinga sa atin sa pagtanda. Sana ngayon nagkatuluyan kayo para mapanatag ako. Marami ka ng nakilalang tao, marami ka ng napakingang kwento, marami na kayong pinagsaluhang tawa at iyak, marami ka ng nakasalubong at nagiwan ng marka sa buhay mo. Pahalagahan mo ang bawat markang yun kasi di man ito naging makulay, alam kong umukit sila sa kwento natin.

(Encantadia background music) Huwag kang bibitaw sa pagsulat ng buhay natin. Huwag kang mapapagod magmahal at maniwala sa mga taong nakapaligid saiyo, alam ko kung gaano ka katahimik sa pagiisip at kung gaano ka kapanget tumawa, simpleng nilalang ka lang na may di pangkaraniwang pagmamahal sa mga taong nakapaligid saiyo. Di ko alam kung bakit kahit ako nasasabi kong di ka pangkaraniwan, na hanggang ngayon hinahanap ko pa din kung bakit. Sa muling pagkakataon lubos akong nagpapasalamat na ako'y bahagi mo at ikaw ay bahagi ko, lahat ng sakit at saya ay pinagsaluhan natin at kahit hirap ka na pilit ka pa rin hindi bumubitaw, minsan marami kang tanong na mahirap sagutin at minsan marami kang sagot pero di mo alam kung paano tanungin. Huwag kang magpapadala sa palakpak nila maging modelo ka ng pagkumbaba. Pag aralan mong mabuti kung ikaw ba'y umuunlad mula sa parisan ng mali at tama (Buwan ng Wika ngayon wala kang magagawa) Hulmahin mo kung sino ka at maging uliran ka ng kung ano ka, huwag mong ikumpara ang buhay mo sa iba pagkat ang kwento nila'y kwento nila.

 Lubos na Gumagalang,
Ala-Ala
Published: Comment

Sunday, July 17, 2016

Life is Complex


I have been with the company for about one and a half months and i think, things are now clear for me (ok, not so clear but at least i have an idea about corporate world) I passed the Global Communication Training and i was transferred to enhance program, a program that prepare us for our interviews. It is been two weeks now that i got transferred, most of my colleagues were able to get through and profiled for an account. I knew i have a lot of things need to improve, from my pronunciation, grammar, how to organize my thought and the like, so i attend additional classes every before shift. I think things are now getting heavier, i was having my assessment with my trainer when i said "things are now uncomfortable for me, i become more conscious about what to say and what not." then she asked me why they are doing this.

I realized I am actually growing but i'm not sure if it is me or just my imagination but what i noticed the way i think and the way i organize my thoughts, it is different from who i am before. I supposed to enhance myself, from all the things i learned from GCT but i don't know what happened, maybe because i tried to be someone else - emptying his bottle.

While in the bus, i spend a lot of time figuring stuff out. Usually i am staring on the window and thinking random stuff. I know i am not one of lucky few who already knows what their passion is and what i really enjoy, i spend a lot of time trying new things and figuring out what i like and what am i good at, but i easily get depress when things are not on my side. I realized because i expect so much, that people will appreciate my work, yes i'm convincing myself that there will be many challenges, obstacles and curve balls along the way but i don't want to pretend that it is easy to move on and not to feel sad when things are not fine.

I realized that life is extremely messy and complicated, Life is about change and facing rejections. Life has a lot of meaning, we do have our own way of writing and different way of figuring it out but we all do have one core of being which is how to accept and face another one. Whether my life is messy and complicated its fine with me, because at the end of the day i have to find myself improving. Life is a continual work in progress. We’re all just trying to find our way, and we’re all confused and looking for contentment. Life is a journey, and happiness is not a destination to arrive at, but a way of living. You ka-iskolar what can you say about life, we wanna hear your comment. Gracias!
Published: Comment

Friday, May 27, 2016

5 Things I Encounter Everyday before Training


As i was about to move into corporate world, i'm still in adjustment. I believe that my body is under construction from head to toe. Its been a week already and i think i'm enjoying the environment, not because its new or quite too far from home but i still do have a lot of things need to learn more about myself.

As i go to travel everyday, i have to prepare things that are necessarily early before going to work. It is not easy but thanks to my parents they helped me to get through the day. So, how do i start my new routine? Around 6:00 in the morning every Sunday, my body is already on its mood because i got enough sleep from Saturday evening and i know i can get enough rest for Monday schedule. Mostly around 9 i manage to read news letter, emails, notifications and other stuff online. By 11, you can see me rolling in the couch or going to get water, take my breakfast and drink half cup of coffee. Or simply went outside for a walk. Then by afternoon i'll check my book to where i stop or just scrolling 9gag for fun.

But the schedule change every Tuesday up until Saturday because of my shift. So around 7:30 in the evening i'm about to leave the house and waiting at the bus station. Then maybe around quarter to 10, i'm at PNR Buendia Station already or also known as Dela Rosa. Here is my 5 seemingly the same things i encounter everyday before going to training.

1. People at the Bus are seriously doesn't care about you, I usually stare at the window, its either i'm amazed by the lights and tiny little houses when the bus is on flyover along Alabang or simply as looking at my reflection and asking "do i really looked so stress?". People at night are typically snob because they have to conserve their energy, they have to make their mind at peace. But not all people, because like my trainers and other people at my work they usually smile at you and say "hi" because in our company we promote camaraderie, positive attitude and having positive aura. If you encounter people at the bus and snob your positive "hi" please understand their situation.


 2. The City is in the Mood, i love seeing lights at night, sometimes you can see me staring at the window or my head is turning 360 degrees back and fort (nahhh i'm just joking). Lights are very entertaining, an amusing part of waking me up. It is very inducing, that encourage me "hey this is the positive side of working at night". I'm fortunate that my company is located at the middle of Makati, lights are in mood and everything seems giving you some cheers, but aside from the building - cars, buses and other vehicle, compete to make some orchestra. Working at night as freshmen or newbie is very challenging but you always have to look at the positive side.


3. Phases gone fast, i come to notice it, after the Monday schedule of course it will end by Tuesday morning then i'll be in the office on Tuesday evening and the history repeat itself. The phases gone fast and its funny that after i woke up, i need to make some move again so i won't be late. As newbie we have to make sure we have to adjust and adapt faster, in order for us to survive. We have to be open that works and other related things will going fast because they are not going to waste time just to make sure we hitch in.

4. Convenience stores are hero indeed, 7/11, Ministop and Family Mart are very helpful for me. They offer enough food, snack or just as simple as water. The Convenience they gave is enough for me to go, most of their cashiers are hospitable as well. Sometimes i do have plan to franchise one (soon after i get my first million). I really thought it will be difficult for me to look for food but because these convenience stores are available, i found haven. So for you, i guest when having training or work look around, take a peek for places that foods are accessible. So you won't have to starve yourself.

5. Friendship is very powerful, it is either break you or build you. In the first part of the training, we are advise not to get so attached with one another but how are you able to do that, if your friends are really good. These people don't pushes you to do things that they are into, like smoking or drinking. They understand your belief and your ethics. We have to understand that at the end of the training whether people passed through or not, they already make some remark for you to remember, learn from them, learn with them and make sure you can make good memories with these people. They actually do have great stories to tell so don't hesitate to ask.



As learner, we have to make sure that everything we do is engaged by what we want to be in the future. In order to have that engagement, all the related details, from minor up to major factors should be recognized or just simple as making things right on track. Make yourself occupied yet challenged so at the end, you will fall in love with your work. If you have any thing to add on or reaction kindly drop it on the comment box, Gracias. 
Published: Comment

Friday, May 20, 2016

Charting the Unknown


Well Today is my second day of training for a Night shift work, at first i'm terribly scared because of the unknowns and "what if" scenarios created by myself, but when i got through, it is very delightful experience for a newbie like me. I'm actually a morning person and i started to practice it since first year college and it is difficult for me to shift my routines but it doesn't mean i can't, an actual challenge for a person like me.

At first i have no idea where would it be held, so what i did 2 days before the training, i went to the address and looked for the building. While walking in the middle of the day, toasting you like bread. People seems not noticing you at all, maybe they are used to it - seeing people who looked lost everyday. Imagine me pretending checking my phone like texting but i'm actually checking for the address then i found out it was about 1 km away from St. Giles Hotel, where i took my workshop with YEDW and Go Negosyo. The Funny side of it, it brings a lot of memories. I'm only third year college back then, but the experienced they gave is absolutely for me to remember.

Working at Night is both good and bad, advantageous and disadvantageous, fortunate and unfortunate. Well the same everyday, we experienced a lot - knowing that we only seeking for the unknown, the breeze of uncertainty felt so good for a kind like me. Before, i thought it would be so scary to work at night but the creepy side of the night is actually the most amusing phase of the day. You can encounter great people with great stories, You can feel the road without being struck by sunlight, you can walk alone and say "I own the City!".

The bad side of working by night, is you have to sacrifice events and other commitment you want to be part of your diary. I do have 2 events, yesterday the blogapalooza and today the Guhit Pinas 2nd Annual Convention. Yesterday, i have no energy to go beyond nine o'clock, even if i took MRT i won't make it and i think it doesn't feel right to go in an event without your energy, a walking stick that seems to be a zombie (oh my zombie!) and today i woke up late, so i was left by the bus. So i realized, don’t commit to things during the day because daytime people expect you to – you are living their life in reverse.

I'm just charting the things that i don't know about myself, I know i have a lot of things to learn more because, this is actually new to me, all of it. How i wished that i can get through and make more of myself but i believed in the company that they are able to unleash my potentials and it really felt so good to be part of the X-Men: #FirstClass.

If you have any guidance to help me, i wanna know and kindly drop it on the comment box, Gracias.
Published: 12 Comment

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Liham ng Pagtatapos


Hindi ko alam kung tutuloy ba ako sa college noon bit bit ang sarili kong puno ng takot at kaba, takot sa pakikipag halubilo, kaba na baka eto uli yun kagaya ng highschool. Umupo ako sa medyo gitna, parteng natatamaan ng hangin mula sa electric fan, yumuko at huminga ng malalim at eto na naman ang normal na ritwal ng mga first day of classes - "Introduce your self". Di ko akalain na sa munting pagpapakilala na ginawa ko, binago ninyo ang buong kwentong akala ko noon magiging boring fairy tale na itatago ko nalang. 

Mula sa sinkwentang kataong may iba't ibang kwento ng buhay na akala ko noon pare pareho lang. Nagkaroon ako ng pagkakataon na kilalanin at linawin ang bawat isa sa inyo. Hindi ganoon kadali ang maging class president, hindi madali na may responsibilidad ka maliban sa academic requirements sa kursong kinukuha mo, hindi ganun kadali na pagsabayin mo ang moral na obligasyon mo sa kanila sa panahong kailangan nila ng encouragement at pisikal na aspeto ng pagiging iskolar, hindi ganoon kadali na humarap sa professor sa problemang hindi ka naman ang gumawa, hindi ganoon kadali na lagi kang aalalay sa kanila pero hindi ko sinabing hindi ako natuwa, hindi ko sinabing hindi ko kinaya. Mula sa sinkwentang kwentong mga ibinahagi nyo ang syang nagbigay kwenta sa buhay kolehiyo ko. 

Halos mula sa tatlong taong pakikibahagi sa inyo, hindi ko pinagsisihan ang lahat ng desisyong ginawa ko para kumapit at ipagpatuloy ang kwento ko kasama kayo. Maraming iyak, tawa, kunot ng noo, pawis, away at marami pang iba. Marami tayong pwedeng pagsaluhan sa muli nating pagsasama sama. Mula sa singkwentang katao, umakyat tayong Tatlumput Anim na Iskolar ng Bayan maaring di ko natupad ang pangako kong aakyat tayong sama sama pero buo ang loob kong lahat tayo'y magiging bahagi sa mas malaking eskwela pagkatapos ng araw na ito, ang paaralan ng buhay. Lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa inyong lahat na hinayaan nyong maging bahagi ako ng buhay nyo. 

Sa aking magulang, lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng sakripisyo, pagod at lahat ng pagmamahal na ibinuhos at patuloy na ibinibuhos nyo sa aming magkakapatid. Magulang ko ang naging modelo sa lahat ng bagay, pundasyon ng pangarap at ambisyon ko sa buhay. Sila ang bumuhay at bumuo ng pagkatao na humaharap sa lahat recitation, defense at academic requirements. Ang magulang ko ang syang bumuo, bubuo at patuloy binubuo ang pagkataong haharap sa buhay ko. Lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng mga turo at pagmamahal nyo, at patuloy nyong sinuportahan ang mga endeavors ko mapa-academic and non-academic extra curricular activities. Di nyo ipinakita at ipinagkait ang pagkakataon kong makatungtong sa kolehiyo na kung tutuusiin, hindi na ito sakop ng obligasyon at responsibilidad nyo bilang magulang. Maraming maraming salamat po

Sa aking mga kaibigan na patuloy na naniniwala at binibigyan ako ng gabay salamat Mark, Khalid, Freelly, Dianne, Aureo at Andrea sa lahat ng moral support at sa mga panahong kailangan ko ng tulong. Sa aking mga guro at propesor na naging bahagi ng kwento ko, mapalabas ng school man o sa loob ng paaralan. Lubos po akong nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng turo, aral, gabay at pagbahi ng mga kaalaman nyo bilang pangalawa naming magulang, Prof. Apostol, Prof. Jurado, Prof. Rivera, Prof. Antivula, Prof. Quinto at Prof. Suarez sa lahat ng bagay na ibinahagi nyo na naging malaking parte ng buhay kolehiyo ko. Nagpapasalamat din ako sa gabay ni Ate Amaya, Ma'am Donna at Ma'am Leng bilang mga pangalawa kong magulang sa Sintang Paaralan, di man sila propesor sa classroom namin naging guro ko naman sila sa tamang asal at sa munting kwentuhan. 

Maraming salamat sa ating panginoon na patuloy na ginagabayan ang aking panuntunan sa buhay na syang sumuporta at nagpatibay ng loob ko para makapagtapos sa kolehiyo at alam kong patuloy na gagabay sa lahat ng bagay na magsisimula pa lamang. 

Ang liham na ito'y pagpapatunay lamang na ako'y magsisimula ng panibagong kabanata. Sa lahat ng nakibahagi, naging bahagi ng aking paglalakbay lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa inyo. 

Lubos na nagmamahal, 
Isang Iskolar na Degree Holder



Published: Comment

Wednesday, April 13, 2016

21 Things I Need To Learn


I'm twenty one and currently facing the odds of what to do after college. 2 or 3 weeks from now, i will be a certified unemployed citizen. I found it kinda creepy, seeing myself thinking what lies ahead after the ceremony. I just wondering if i'll just continue doing freelancing or work for someone else but anyway it is too early for me to wander around. So i decided to make a bucket list which i need to do and learn early this year. 

1. I have to strive to learn faster.
2. Understand that People can say anything.
3. I have to accept that i'll lose friends.
4. I challenged myself to accept project that i have to go beyond my limit.
5. I'll work on a project that scares me. To do something i fear. 
6. Never live by someone else standards. 
7. Learn to make connection like a pro. 
8. Limit my Social Media 
9. I have to learn something daily and to try something new. 
10. I'll grab a book and read, i have to understand that reading is very powerful. 


11. Meet Great People while Traveling. 
12. Waking up early
13. To live healthy and be passionate in not starving myself. 
14. I have to understand that college doesn't guarantee a Job. 
15. Be willing to jump into the deep end. 
16. Learn to contribute
17. Free weekends doesn't exist
18. Understand that People remember your successes, not your failure. 
19. Stay in contact with family, i'll enjoy every single time with them. 
20. Learn to smile and create positive mindset starting today.
21.  I have to give it a try, no matter so i won't regret at the end.

I'm twenty one and still my brain works as if i'm twelve haha. The funny side of making my bucket list, it doesn't go so literal, that it went out to be a foundation of my core competencies and things that i need to improve after college, yes it does scare me - thinking of what gonna happen to student like me. Doing this remind me that "Oh come on, you are not a student remember, you love learning and that's what separate you from other" I almost forgot and reminds me that being scared of what lies a head dragged you from where you begin.
Published: Comment

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

I'm a Water Bender

"I'm an artist in an aquarium, Yes! i'm a water bender"

According to National Library of Medicine "Hyperhidrosis is a medical condition in which a person sweats excessively and unpredictably. People with hyperhidrosis may sweat even when the temperature is cool or when they are at rest."

It is not easy living like this and people seems to look at it like a funny fairy tale, yes its kinda super power for ordinary people, your ability to supply water on your own but for me, it is a curse - i was drown on my own water and everything seems sinking - i was around eight years old when i sought out that my hands are not normal, my lola, my grandma gave me different instruction for a natural remedy like putting my feet under warm water with dissolve salt or drink a lot of tea made from different leaves but seems that it doesn't work with me.

It is difficult for me to grow like any other children playing outside because i used to stay inside to avoid people picking a fight with a water bender. Then eventually as i turned high school i have to deal with socialization and meeting with people, and usually i hide my hands inside my pocket and everyone seems looking at me "hey, why don't you just join us" and i respond them with a smile and i go back to my sit. Sorry for those people i avoided, sorry for the chances of making small chitchat because i tried to cover everything to you because i just afraid that you will avoid me when you found out.

When i got in college, i focused more in extra curricular activities just to forget that i do have an extra ordinary ability, just to forget and say that "hey! i'm a normal kid" when the moment that someone pushes me to do something that isn't my plan i gradually live with it and everything seems growing that i didn't planned to and it is satisfying to see that i grow but i can't hide to myself that i do have a deficiency, the reason why i can't ask a girl to go out or just to render my hand for help and other consequential reason of my sweaty hands.

When i'm alone i usually ask the sky and stars about my condition, "Seven Billion people, Six livable Continent and one hundred ninety six countries but why me?" Speaking in front of the crowd, making a recitation or just merely erasing the writings in the board made me to back out and go back to my sit, people usually say "gross! don't touch me!" "hey! don't ever get closer with me" and "eew, go away!" maybe for them its kinda joke, yes i laughed to your silly annoyance but i asked me to say "how lucky are they to have a dry hands" maybe humans are very self oriented and self centered organism that's the reason why life isn't fair.

For me having a sweaty palm and feet is actually not a great barrier to go beyond my limit. the most difficult part is actually the people around you keep on depriving you and their understanding about your condition. As i grow older, i have to understand that these people will totally be sick about it: discrimination, judgement and everything. My biggest regret as of now would be, i didn't pursue in arts because people who are around me keep on telling me you won't make it because you'll be wasting papers and art material.

I taught myself that this condition is a reason for me not to give up, a reason for me to double my hardship and strive more because i'm not normal. I knew it will be difficult to fit in because this is a biological and foreign condition for a normal person, i knew it will be difficult for me to find a company that suits and accept my current state but it doesn't mean i can't because like my sweat, i'm pure and clear.

Thank you justalittlesweat.com "Living with Hyperhidrosis" for inspiring me, more power to you.
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Thursday, December 31, 2015

12 Little Things ...


Its been 20 years of existence; Breathing, Traveling, Making friends, Learning and everything. Stories that i made fantastically amazing: my own life story, a story that i want to share around the world. This year is my last academic year in my college, a life changing experience for a scholar like me, i just planned to be an invisible nomad student inside our class room yet i was given a chance to showcase that - people can change. A spoiled brat who doesn't care about his doings and i missed those days, the innocent and curious little kid that really love running under the rain but time teaches us many things like growing and adapting, we have to learn that not everyday is the same like yesterday.

This year i experienced a lot; happiness, fear, sadness and even get excitement. I was brought to many places that i never imagined. Meet people that encourage and inspire me to go beyond my limit. and Here is my 2015 Year-Ender special.

Things that i learned this 2015:

1. I was able to meet great people. People from different Profession, field, industry and cycle of life. They inspire me from what and who am i. I was amazed with their stories and their journey and able to create friends and get inspired. Thank you Marc Reyes, Melai de Guzman, Dustin Conde and our Go Negosyo Family for being great inspiration for soon-entrepreneur like me.

2. I was able to recognized that leadership is not the forefront of all cases, sometimes and most of the time they are at the back, supporting his team. Doing invisible work for the progress of the project. Life is not about who succeed and get the award or entitled to be the best but the fulfillment of making things to work accordingly without asking in return is way better. Through my leadership escapade and journey thank you Mark, Khalid, Andrea, Aureo and the rest of our classmates for showing me leadership is always about making friends not hierarchy nor power. Gracias Amigos! 

3. I was able to go and have a journey on my own or with group. Practice lone travelling and learn the road ethics. I was able to experience to join what's barkada bonding at Pansol, Laguna. I was able to go in Subic, Zambales for one of my assignments in my on-the-job training and went to many places in Manila for several seminar-workshop this year. Most of the time, Learning is not inside the four corners of our classroom nor in front of the computer, you have to feel the art of strolling.

4. Writing in blog is not just about yourself. You have to feel, sense and put your self in the shoes of your reader. This year i was able to recognized it, Grimsley Studio (which is deleted) is my former blog i feel it is necessary to make sense and be an influence for other instead of living in grim and despair. Through iSKOLAR Studio i was able to put myself more organized for what i want to become.

5. Life is not about fortune and living in a blanket with hot chocolate. Life is purposely giving you problem to make you stronger and tighter. This year, i can say is not the same like last few years - financial and economic standing of our family is not good, for an instance we do have chances that we are not sure if we are going to eat for dinner or not, or am i going to class or not because my parents doesn't have money to give me an allowance but its fine with me, money won't stop me to go further, i can stay up night drinking water or go school for a walk instead because i believe to what he said:  "To live life, you need problem. If you get everything you want the minute you want it, what's the point of living?" Anonymous.

6. I never stop to find way to learn, i was able to avail free seminars, workshop and learning outside the school. I casually went to community library to read relevant books for personal growth, I review my books in my shelf about business initiatives and ethics, I personally ask people about their views about certain topic and event. I ask for guidance and enlightenment from my professors. I read article, quotes and motivational pages from several social networking sites. Learning should always be our top priority, to further expand our horizon.

Things that i planned for 2016:

7. I plan to expand more of my skills this coming year, toward blogging, computer system, designing, meeting people and pursuit for excellence in management and corporate work. I also looking forward to launch iSKOLAR Platform by January.

8. I plan to do everything, face my fear and find true self - after all, next year will be different. I wanna see my self doing what i planned years before; I want to apply in a company that surely supports my vision and plan for my future - to be internationally competent.

9. I plan to live in an Apartment next to my working place and do some moving away plan haha. I want to feel independent - learn the things that surely unleash my potentials, i knew it will be difficult to a kind like me but i'm willing to learn everything. Live with healthier lifestyle, i wanna try to go in a gym and gain weight seriously.

10. Start to save for the things that i dreamed of, like: Having a Condo, Parent's Car and Renovation for our ancestral house. Start to connect and communicate with relevant and reliable source to make a business, i want to make a businessmen lounge cafe with a graphic studio before my 30's. Start to invest for the future.

11. I plan to keep people who made great impact to my growth, I plan to meet more people who can give me growth but i also want to recognize all the people i meet, because whether its big or small they made huge part of who i am today and tomorrow (taray!) 

12. I plan to prepare my self in dealing with Success & Failure, because this year will be a different kind of examination - not your typical written or oral examination, i'm sure failures will come on my way. Success will be a different side story and i'm sure it is a no ending pursuit for it.
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Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Work Hard, Dream Big


I am such a big dreamer, but honestly i don't know where to start. Its kinda frustrating that your age is keep on increasing and you felt that you were left hanging, as if you are not growing. Dreams supposed to be your inspiration yet it turned out to be your anxiety, isn't it? nararanasan siguro yun ng lahat, siguro nararamdaman yun ng iba, sana hindi lang ako. 

As i look upon the picture i made - a vision board. Photos, Dialogue, Plans - everything is set, except me. I do have travel plans from Singapore to Thailand, from Macau to Seoul, South Korea. I want to have my own condo at age of 24, buy a car for my parents and renovate our ancestral house. I want to settle at age of 28 and build my own family while running my business, a Businessmen Lounge Cafe Shop with Graphic Studio. 
"My Vision Board"
I'm little bit fragile and i knew how weak i am but the best thing about me, i don't settle for who i am right now, i usually read article for personal development before i sleep at night. i usually share motivational quotes that i found interesting to share on our page. I'm a huge fan of learning and i love where it trailing me to go. I wished, what i'm doing right now is systematically aligned of what would i want me to be.

I'm glad that my plans way back in high school were settled (see my next article about "2015 year-ender") Things that i didn't notice that i made it that far, i made it this far, rather. Sometimes i write things that are quite tricky at the first part that it seems to be my paglalabasan ng hinanakit but at the end of the day, i want to encourage people that you have to put your self in your vision. I keep on reminding myself that i don't have to hurry but i have to persevere. 

I'm really afraid of other peoples gonna say about my failures, about my untouchable and unreachable dreams, I'm afraid that someday those dreams will settle out to be dreams nalang. but as remember i have no control over the future, all i can do today is vision and plan those things - failures are part of life, i can't do about it. What peoples gonna say are part of life, i can't do anything about it. I have to give my best shot.

“When the actions becomes frequent than the words, success becomes heavier than the dreams. Do more, say less.” by Israelmore Ayivor. 
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Friday, December 11, 2015

Holiday Wish list of a graduating scholar


Lahat naman tayo may gusto lalo na't parating ang pasko at bagong taon. Yung iba keep on reminding their parents about what they want for Christmas, most of the time parents pushed their selves to meet their children's wishes - sila yung totoong Santa Clause at tooth fairy natin. Dahil sa hirap ng buhay ayokong humiling ngayong pasko sa parents ko, pero dahil wala pa akong maisip na magandang article - siguro maganda kung i-share ko kung ano yung mga gusto ko for this Christmas. 

Graphika Manila 2016 Creative Conference
2016 Starbucks PH - Moleskine planners
DOTA 2 Classic Zip Hoodie 
Harry Potter House Scarves
Harry Potter Gryffindor House Scarves
Cadbury Dairy Milk Chocolate
If you feel like giving something for me, our house is open for gifts and surprises: 5081 Ilaya Street, Malaban, Binan City Laguna. Haha kahit wala naman ok lang rin sa akin. Lubos na akong nagpapasalamat sa haba ng panahong inilalagi ko sa mundo (wag kang iiyak haha) Normal ng humingi at humiling ng materyal na bagay at sa kagaya kong simpleng tao - sapat ng makitang nakangiti ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. O ikaw ka-iskolar anong nasa wishlist mo? itweet mo  #ISKOLARako
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Thursday, December 3, 2015

Perks of no-personal-computer blogger


I wrote my articles in a computer shop nearby. Well it is not easy to type every word, because sira yun keyboard at occupied ang ibang computer, It is not easy because, kailangan mong magheadphone at lakasan ang volume para makapagconcentrate ka sa pagtatype, It is not easy because, kailangan kong makibagay sa loob at labas ng computer shop kasi di lang ako yung nagrerent, It is not easy, kailangan mong mag allocate or save ng money to publish something in your blog, It is not easy kasi hindi saiyo yung computer. 

It is not easy but it is an honest challenge for me. pag maririnig mo yung tunog ng piso net, ok tapos na yung oras ko - game over. Madaling maging mahirap, minsan nga masasabi ko pang masaya pero minsan pag naiisip kong ang swerte ng maraming estudyante at kabataan na nabiyayaan ng maraming bagay pero sila mismo nagsasawalang bahala sa mga biyayang ibinigay sa kanila - sana kahit konti paulanan nyo naman kami mga rich kid.

Ano ano ba yung mga advantage ng pagsusulat sa isang computershop:

1. Economic and Financially Challenging.
Students like me, depend on computer shop and availability of free computer usage like library, community based learning center and the like, to make homeworks, term paper, research and other academic and non academic matter - to catch up for lessons and classes. Mas scrutinize at detailed ang pag gawa mo ng assignment kasi sayang sa pera kung mag ka-copy at paste ka, at irereject lang sya ng professor mo, mas masakit sya sa kagaya kong kuripot at money conscious. 

Financially Challenging sya sa kagaya natin na konti ang allotted money sa ganitong larangan at eventually mapapaisip ka na mas dapat mong pagbutihan sa pagsusulat para di masayang ang pera mo at masatisfy mo ang readers mo. Advantage para sa atin ang pagsusulat at pagbloblog sa computer shop; una, di mo na kailangan bumili ng set ng computer mo, pangalawa, di mo kailangan magpainstall ng mga softwares na kakailanganin mo like MS Office, Chrome etc at pangatlo walang maintenance na kailangan bayaran kasi its either piso-net ang gamit mo or per hour ang pinag rerentahan mo. Malaking tulong sya. tooot-tooot-tooot..

2. Increases your Sociability Skills.
I was able to know other people when i visited another computer rental shop sa kabilang barangay o kaya bago umuwi ng school, marami kang nakikilala, nakakalaro at nakakausap - minsan usapan nyo parang matagal na kayong magkakakilala pero kanina lang naman (Extend pa po ako ng isang oras!) I can even get inspirations and motivational quote from them, seeing them enjoying what there doing - browsing, playing online or offline game, watching video or just doing some school thing. Minsan sisilip ka sa kanila dahil medyo matagal yung load ng page mo or nag babuffer pa yung video - magkakatinginan kayo at medyo matatawa (akward!).

3. Critical Thinking.
I was able to practice my critical thinking, my time is bounded so i have to do it fast and reliably great to make something satisfying for me as a writer. Dahil sa limited ang time, medyo time conscious ka, possible na nagmamadali ka sa pagtatype pero aminin - ang bilis ng pasok ng mga information na gusto mong ipasok sa page mo. Tipong bawat minuto ay ginto, at  bawat segundo ay dyamante - di ka pwedeng gumawa ng dead air para di masayang ang oras, At sa ganoong paraang you were able to recognize time and its importance. (Toot, Toot Extend pa po ako!) 

4. Minimize your Social Media dependency.
As a blogger, i have no idea of what's going on with the life of my classmates or even browsing their profiles. I have no chance to peek on their post or even read their comments on someone's post in facebook - well i used facebook but it doesn't make me someone to depend too much or necessarily a freak for someone else life (Dati ganoon ako), I used facebook as marketing preposition to know that i'm still exist in my social media circle. I learned that i have to make sure i read good, relevant and real article, encouraging and motivating quote or watch videos that catches my interest. So ang tendency, di na ako clingy to post in my facebook personal account instead i make sure that my vision as blogger is cleared and concrete - Na di ka attention seeker but knowledge seeker na (whaaat?)

5. You were able to know more about you and yourself.
I realize that life is not about luck and fortune or pot of gold after the rainbow, pagumupo ka na sa cubicle alam mo na, na di ka nagiisa at alam mong kailangan sensitive ka sa mga pages na bubuksan mo (alam ko ginagawa mo?) Malalaman mo ang kahalagahan ng pagsusulat mo kasi alam mo kung ano lang ang kaya mong ilagay, possible na konti at icontinue mo tomorrow, possible na kulang na yung pera mo at possible na kailangan mo ng umuwi - mas madaling makilala ang sarili mo, sabi nga ng quote na nabasa ko "Empty pocket teaches you a million things in life... but, full pocket spoils you in a million ways..."
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Sunday, November 22, 2015

Liham ng isang Anak


Hindi ko po alam kung saan ako magsisimula, alam at ramdam ko nahihirapan na kayo sa mga bayaring aking hinihingi, alam at ramdam ko na pagod na kayo sa mga bayaring aking ginagastos. 
Minsan nagdadabog, minsan bumubulong, minsan umaayaw sa mga utos nyo - masakit sa akin na makita kayo na nahihirapan sa mga gastusing ako dapat ang gumagawa ng paraan, kolehiyalo ako, Bente't may maayos na pangangatawan pero eto't umaasa ako kay mama at papa. 

Tawag ko sa sarili ko independent student sa loob at labas ng classroom pero sa loob at labas ng bahay isa akong dumedependeng anak. Nakikita kong nagpupursigi kayo pareho sa mga trabaho at negosyo nyo, lubos ko kayong pinasasalamatan, hinahangaan at minahal ng lubos, bahagi kayo ng pagkatao at kung paano nabuo ang mga mumunting pundasyon ng kung ano ako ngayon.

Alam ko kung gaano kasakit para sa isang magulang pag di nya kayang punan at ibigay ang mga pangangailangan at hiling ng isang anak, parang sa loob ng school - masakit para sa amin, pag kami lang ang di kayang bumili ng librong required ng professor. Kung gaano kasakit ang makitang ikaw lang ang walang libro ay maaring katumbas o higit pa para sainyo ang sakit - maaring wala akong libro, magagarang gadget, gimik, gala at kung ano ano pang hindi naman kailangan sa buhay - meron naman akong dalawang taong tumulong sa aking buuin ang sarili ko at lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng suporta't pagmamahal nyo.

Alam ko kung gaano kasakit pag tayo'y nagkakasagutan - kagaya ng nararamdaman ko pag recitation sa klase at di ko alam ang sagot, para akong tinutusok ng maraming beses. para akong nakakain ng maraming sili at para akong binuhusan ng malamig na tubig, nangangatog, napapapikit, nauutal at sa huli pag tago ng mukha ko sa unan - lubos akong nagsisise.

Konting tiis nalang tatay, alam kong lubos at excited kang gruamduate ako, alam kong minsan di tayo nagkakasundo pero alam ko kung gaano ka kaproud sa akin kahit di mo ipakita. Alam ko kung gaano mo pahalagahan ang mga prinsipyo at paniniwala mo, ikaw ang una kong naging superhero at role model sa lahat ng aspeto ng buhay - kung ano ako ngayon, ay syang bunga ng kung anong ipinakita mo sa amin bilang isang ama.

Konting tiis nalang mama, alam kong marami ka ng sakripisyong ginawa - nagabroad, nagdomestic helper, nagsikap at nagtyaga ng maraming araw para lang maipadala sa akim. Lubos akong nagpapasalamat sa lahat ng mga aral at pagmamahal na ibinigay mo bilang isang ina. Ikaw ang bumuhay sa mga pangarap ko, ikaw ang una kong superside kick sa lahat ng kalokohan, hilig at mga hobbies ko - mula sa pagdra-drawing, pagususulat at kung ano ano pa.

Hindi man kagaya ng iba, na nasa mamahaling university, maaring hindi ako nakakagala sa iba't ibang panig ng pilipinas habang estudyante ako, maaring wala akong sariling kwarto, sariling kotse, magaganda at latest gadget, maaring nakiki computer lang ako, hindi man ako kasing yaman ng mga nakikita ko sa newsfeed ko, maaring ngayon mahirap kung tawagin kami pero balang araw magbabago ang lahat at alam ko mayaman ako sa pagmamahal ng dalawang taong bumuo at bumubuo sa pagkatao't pangarap ko. 

Lubos na Nagmamahal,
Iskolar ni Inay at Itay
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Sunday, November 15, 2015

Broken Reflection


Seeing yourself, as if you were standing in front of a mirror is like staring to a void of full of surprises. Doble Kara lang ang theme. Nakakagulat minsan yung mga bagay na akala mo di mo kayang gawin - pero dahil sinubukan mo, nakakaproud diba? may naalaala ka bang ganito? yung papilit ka pa sa mga friendship mo, gagawin mo din naman pero aminin mo habang nakatayo ka sa marami, nagpapangap kang malakas, masabi lang na in-ka sa grupo. 

 Marami sa atin, pinipilit nating makibagay sa marami, pinipilit maging isa sa crowd pero at the end tayo lang ang napapagod. Isa akong people pleaser noon, gusto kong makijoin-in sa kung anong gusto nila, gusto kong masabing kaibigan nila, gusto kong maging bahagi ng mundo nila - kahit nakakapagod sa pagsunod sa mga kung ano anong bagay - mapa assignment, project, term paper etc. Oo ka ng Oo sa mga bagay na di ka naman obligadong gawin pero pinilit mo para lang may magsabing - kaibigan ka nila. 

 Pinilit kong gawin ang mga yun para lang may magsabing "Ui! Bro! Salamat!" o "Ui! Best! Thank you!". Pero sino ba talaga ang talo? ako o sila? napapaisip ako minsan, sila kasi ang nagturo sa aking maging independent ako, sila ang nagturo sa akin gawin ang mga akala ko noon mahirap - yung obligasyong akala ko, nagpahirap sa akin noon syang magpapagaan sa akin ngayon. Naging aware ako sa mga school project at assignments, naging aware ako sa mali ko sa grammar (though hanggang ngayon nag aaral pa rin ako), naging mas madali sa akin gumawa at magconstruct ng mga bagay na akala ko kailangan ng grupo pero hindi pala at lubos akong nagpapasalamat at naging bahagi yun ng kwento ko. May mga chances na ikaw mismo ayaw ng mga yun. 

 Mga Symptoms na ikaw ay isang example: 

 Isa kang tense sa kung anong sasabihin ng iba, tipong lagi mong tinatanong kung anong reactions nila - ano? galit ba sila? ano? may nasabi ba akong mali? 

 Isa kang time conservative, you usually asked time. Importante saiyo ang time at usually, nagawa mo na ang mga assignment mo bago pa sabihin ng professor (O.A naman, well minsan two days after maibigay ang mechanics tapos ka na)

 Isa kang time depot, you patiently wait for other people to consume your very precious time. Ako mas mabuti ng mas maaga ako kaysa sa kanila kesa may masabi pa sila. At hindi nila makita ang significance nun, pangalawa wala silang respect dun kasi feeling nila executive sila.

 Lagi kang  nagvovolunteer sa gawaing hindi ka naman dapat ang gagawa at hindi naman dapat ivolunteer (hilahin yan sa bagong bayan! dun hatulan ng kamatayan!) ganoon talaga para lang masabi kang one of the team.

Sa gawain, ikaw mismo yung assignment centre nila, kala mo pinaswesweldo ka sa pinagagawa, ikaw naman martyr - go ng go sa pagawa, (well, marami akong natutunan sa pag gawa ko ng ganoon, ng ganyan)

 Marami pa noong highschool, ganoon ako, kaya noong college pinilit kong maging independent - naniwala ako sa sarili ko na kaya ko at magagawa ko all alone (but at the end mali ako, see my next article about finding treal (True + Real) friends in college). 

 Sa mga kagaya ko, na pinipilit maging bahagi ng ibang kwento ng ibang tao, maging bahagi ng circle of friends ng mag campus famous - teme ne yen! (pabebe tone), sometimes it is worth walking alone than with people full of thorns, ikaw at ikaw lang ang masasaktan at sa huli ikaw lang ang tatawagin nilang talunan. 

 Sa mga kagaya ko na pinilit at ipinilit ang sarili - Congrats! Nalagpasan na natin ang maging isang martyr sa mga taong ikaw mismo ayaw ka nilang maging bahagi ng nobela nila, ok lang yun. Atleast nagiwan sila ng mga aral na magagamit mo sa pagpapatuloy sa pagsulat mo ng buhay. iisa lang ang ballpen mo't ikaw yun, huwag ka ng makihiram ng ibang papel tumutok ka nalang sa mala-manila paper mong buhay at gawin silang hakbang sa pagharap sa buhay. 

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Friday, November 13, 2015

Lapis o Pambura

Way back when i was in my first year one of my professor asked me "which one would you choose between pencil and an eraser?" Well, dahil sa nagba-bufffing pa ang utak ko, huminga muna ako ng malalim bago sumagot. Parang humugot muna ako sa pinaka malalim na parte ng pagkatao ko bago ko maibigay: I'll rather choose to have a pencil, I'm an artist - i do sketching, i do drawing, i might have an opportunity to erase everything from my past but i chose to continue, living without regret, breathing like no more air,

Sinabi kong Art is in me, when i introduce myself in front of the class, ako din naguluhan sa sinabi ko - pero ngayong patapos na ako dun ko napatunayan, hindi lang pala sa papel ako pwedeng gumawa ng likha pero ganoon din sa kung paano makitungo sa tao at sa marami. 

May mga pagkakataon tila ako'y nagtatanghal sa sarili kong kwento, nagpapanggap sa mga kwentong ako mismo ang sumulat - humubog ako ng mga taong magiging bida at kontrabida sa sarili kong teatro. Gumawa ako ng maraming katha na ako mismo ang direktor at artista, ako ang sumulat ng walang bura bura at ang tawag ng lipunan sa mga katha ko - desisyon. 

Sa desisyon natin sa buhay, marami ang magsasabi kung ano ang tama at mali, kung ano maganda at panget, huhusgahan, tatawanan at kukutyain pero sa dulo hindi naman sila makikisalo sa sakit - maaring makinabang sa mga positibong ganap pero pustahan tayo, nagdadalawang isip yan para tumulong. 

Sa desisyon natin sa buhay, minsan hindi natin namamalayan may mga bagay na mas masaya, mas marami ang kwento ng tawa at halakhak, mas marami ang kwento ng ngiti at galak pero sa bawat iyak at lungkot - nilulukot mo ang papel na, sanay bahagi ng kwentong masaya. (Hindi ko alam kung nagiging makata ako sa ganito.)   

Desisyon ang nagturo sa akin maging matatag sa pagiging buhay kolehiyo, hinayaan kong maging bahagi ng malaking kwento ang lahat ng desisyong ako ang pumili, may mga desisyong pinaghinayangan, may mga desisyong petiks, may desisyong ok lang, may desisyong go ako dyan. Marami tayong pinipili kung saan tutungo at eto ang natutunan ko kung magiging masaya ka sa lahat ng pipiliin mo, kung magiging parte ba ang desisyon mo sa humahabang listahan at litrato ng kasiyahan.  - yun ang magiging basehan mo, yun ang magiging standards mo. 

Mahirap isantabi ang mga factors to consider like: parents, money, time, relationship etc. these are the factors that normally affect you everyday. But then again, you can make simple things out of it, if your parents doesn't allow you to go outside - go inside and have a skype conversation with your friend, make a great movie marathon with them through video conference. Money, it is actually a global excuse (ako din) but then again - money is money, you can make savings, you can make generating funds like side-business, render some writing services, do some homeworks etc. to support your wants (wag ka nang umasa kala mudra & pudra about your get-along activities, pls naman) Masaya yung may mga struggles na ganito because na chachallenge ka to continue. I really believed that not everyday is Pasko, hindi lagi may grasya, hindi lagi positive pero ok lang hindi lilipas ang araw ng hindi ka makagagawa ng paraan. 

Tatanungin kita bilang isa iskolar, kung ikaw ang papipiliin ano ang gusto mo lapis o pambura?  
Published:

Monday, November 9, 2015

Liham ng Buhay Kolehiyo


Matagal na din nung muli kong gawing liham ang isang post ko saiyo, malaki na ang pinagbago mo, minsan nga di na kita kilala, minsan ang hirap mo ng basahan ng kwento, minsan ikaw na mismo ang mahirap basahin. Malaki ang pinagbago mo, mula ng noong tumungtong ka ng kolehiyo. Sa bawat saya at tawa, nakikita kong malaki at maganda ang idinulot ng buhay kolehiyo mo, di mo na nga ako matignan ng tuwid sa salamin. I knew there are a lot of things bothering you lately, you are pressured from a lot of people around you. you are pressured for all things that most people expecting but that's alright, you did your best and i'm very proud of you. 

Naalala mo ba nung bago ka umakyat sa stage noong graduation ng highschool? Huminga ka ng malalim, bago mo tanggapin ang medalya at mga parangal na ibinigay saiyo. Sinabi mo sa sarili mo na wala ng atrasan, tapos ka na ng highschool at hinanda mo na ang sarili mo sa kolehiyo. 

Matagal na tayong magkaibigan, mula noong una mo akong nakilala sa harap ng salamin, ako ang takbuhan mo sa bawat pagpupunyagi at pag-iyak. 

Nandun ako noong mga panahong walang wala ka, nandun ako noong ikaw at ako lang ang magkasama sa paglalakad pauwi, nandun ako noong panahong kailangan mo ng kasama sa pagiyak dahil sa di nakakatuwang biro ng klase saiyo, nandun ako noong ikaw at ako lang ang magkasama sa gutom at hapdi ng sikmura, highschool ka pa noon at ngayon ganap ka ng Kolehiyo. I never hide myself but i put myself into abyss just to make sure that today will be the starting line of all the bliss and pleasure. All the fleece that i did is just to make sure you are now making great, along with great people. 

Sa unang araw mo sa Kolehiyo, hinayaan kong iwan mo ako - alam mong di ako magsasalita sa harap ng maraming tao. Alam mong takot akong humarap at magsalita sa harap ng marami. Pero ikaw na mismo ang gumawa ng paraan para magbago. Ikaw na mismo ang pumili ng landas ng buhay kolehiyo kahit alam mong walang kasiguriduhan. Ginawan mo ng maliliit na hibla ng kwento ang buhay mo para sa ganoon magmukha syang makulay sa pandinig ng iba. Hinayaan ko yun para sa ganoon maging magaan ito sa paraang gusto mo. 

Hindi kita pinigilan na sumali sa university choir, maging class president, maging organization's representative, hindi ko hinandlangan ang lahat ng hilig mo - mula sa pag gala at pag alis sa bahay na di mo ginagawa noon. Hindi ako pumigil sa pagsama mo sa mga taong alam kong ikaw mismo'y nagduda pero pinili mong makitawa, makisaya at gumawa ng mga ala- ala. Alam kong maiksi ang apat na taon nyo para masabing isang matatag na magkakaibigan pero sa mga ngiting nakita ko - malayo sa mga matang nasilayan ko noong highschool ka at lubos akong nagagalak. 

Marami ng nabago sa gaya mong masipag noon sa pagbabasa at pagsusulat ng notes noong highschool, nagagawa mong umasa sa sulat ng iba, di ka na nagbabasa kasi alam mong iyon at iyon din ang lalabas mula sa nabasa mo noong chapter 1 sa Principles of Management. Di mo na nagagawang makinig ng isang daang porsyento sa professor mo di kagaya nung nasa highschool ka. Natatapos mo na ang mga projects at assignments mo week before ang weekly meeting nyo ni ma'am - once a week lang kasi tayo kaya ok lang saiyo, di kagaya noon everyday parang preliminary round sa isang quiz bee competition. 

Marami ng nagbago sa kagaya mo noong di kayang magpakilala sa harap ng maraming tao, naalala ko tuloy noong nag emcee ka noong 3rd year highschool sa Acquiantance party ng school natin. Ngayon nagagawa mo ng magsalita at magparticipate sa iba't ibang seminar at workshop - pero aminin mo man o hindi alam kong kinakabahan ka pa rin. Di ka na nagiintay ng instruction mula sa mga professors mo sa mga project, pag binigay na ang mechanic go ka na sa pag gawa, nakakatuwang di nawala ang kasipagan mo. Maaring maraming nagbago sa kagaya mo pero alam ko nanatili pa rin saiyo lahat ng aral at values na turo ng mga school na pinasukan natin

Wag kang mangamba sa mga pagkakamaling nagawa mo, alam ko paranoid ka at higit sa lahat para kang ewan kung magisip sa kung ano iniisip ng iba. Gawin mo lang ang sa tingin mo tama at nakakapagpagaan ng loob mo, gagabayan ka nilang lahat mula sa taas at nandito lang ako nagbabantay. Alam ko ang exaggerated na ng liham ko at tandaan mo proud na proud ako saiyo bilang isa mong kababata at kaibigan. 

Lubos na Gumagalang
Ala-Ala 
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