Sunday, August 21, 2016

Change The Way You See #Happiness

Sometimes you have to walk alone to find yourself
#SerendipityWalk #Wednesday
I grew up judged by people, like i'm not yet doing anything but they already gave me a title "Bakla", "Gay", "Faggot" and any other thing. I haven't done anything, I even didn't say anything but they judge me as if they know my whole story. I was discriminated to do things like you're not allowed to play basketball or any sports because "Malamya ako", I'm not allowed to stand in line with boys because they feel like i'm not one of them, I'm not allowed to play with them because they thought i prefer playing with girls, I grew up as if i was in a box that i didn't choose to be into. Even my parents do the same thing, they always remind me to be brusko and make my voice deep so i won't sound feminine. I grew up like i have to pretend that i'm one of the guys, i grew up as if living to be like this is a curse, i'm not homosexual but i lived in a world that most people says i'm one of it. I'm amazed by these homosexual people because every time i encounter one of them. I feel their agonies and frustration to move forward. I knew they gone through a lot pain because of bullying but unlike me they were able to smile like no tomorrow, they were able to rejoice as if they didn't go through pain, as if they live like nobody is watching.

I'm just one of those kids who are left alone after the flag ceremonies because no one like to be friend with. I'm one of those teens who went home alone and find online gaming is more sociable than playing personally. I'm one of those young individuals that are socially awkward to talk because i was thinking i might offend them like how other people offend me but ..

"Sometimes we don't have to plan where to go,
we only have to trust the wheel." #BusStories #GoingHome
Then i realized i don't have to explain what I am, I don't have to prove who I am, I don't have to make amendments for people to accept me. Life isn't about finding myself but its about creating myself. Life isn't about getting and having but it's about giving and being. Those presumptions and judgement sounds very terrible, aching and hurtful process but as I go through the pain. I feel numb as if words can't kill me anymore. Words can either build me or break me, it can either wound me or heal me but the most interesting thing about words it can make me question everything, why is the world like this? what make people to do this? do that? Words encouraged me to seek answer from all the things outside my comfort zone which is composed of pain and judgement. I accepted all those discrimination wholeheartedly to change the way i see things because in order to be happy we have to view pain as building block of who we want to be regardless of what other people can see upon us.

And with the advent of advanced imaging technologies coming in, a smartphone like the new Huawei P9 with its 12-megapixel Leica camera and huge 5.2-inch screen makes it possible for me to share motivation for those people who are going through their journey of finding happiness.

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Change The Way You See #Happiness
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